tommarvalo:

A word of caution: dementors are vicious creatures. They will not distinguish between the one they hunt and the one who gets in their way. Therefore I must warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. It’s not in the nature of a dementor to be forgiving.

(via theyreinmyhead)

I swear to every heaven ever imagined,
if I hear one more dead-eyed hipster
tell me that art is dead, I will personally summon Shakespeare
from the grave so he can tell them every reason
why he wishes he were born in a time where
he could have a damn gmail account.
The day after I taught my mother
how to send pictures over iPhone she texted
me a blurry image of our cocker spaniel ten times in a row.
Don’t you dare try to tell me that that is not beautiful.
But whatever, go ahead and choose to stay in
your backwards-hoping-all-inclusive club
while the rest of us fall in love over Skype.
Send angry letters to state representatives,
as we record the year’s first sunrise so
we can remember what beginning feels like when
we are inches away from the trigger.
Lock yourselves away in your Antoinette castle
while we eat cake and tweet to the whole universe that we did.
Hashtag you’re a pretentious ass hole.
Van Gogh would have taken 20 selflies a day.
Sylvia Plath would have texted her lovers
nothing but heart-eyed emojis when she ran out of words.
Andy Warhol would have had the world’s weirdest Vine account,
and we all would have checked it every morning while we
Snap Chat our coffee orders to the people
we wish were pressed against our lips instead of lattes.
This life is spilling over with 85 year-olds
rewatching JFK’s assassination and
7 year-olds teaching themselves guitar over youtube videos.
Never again do I have to be afraid of forgetting
what my fathers voice sounds like.
No longer must we sneak into our families phone book
to look up an eating disorder hotline for our best friend.
No more must I wonder what people in Australia sound like
or how grasshoppers procreate.
I will gleefully continue to take pictures of tulips
in public parks on my cellphone
and you will continue to scoff and that is okay.
But I hope, I pray, that one day you will realize how blessed
you are to be alive in a moment where you can google search
how to say I love you in 164 different languages.

alwaysri8:

gaybrielandasstiel:

thespooklock:

thespooklock:

so my plan for halloween is to dress up as a Nazgul with my black horse and go trick or treating but instead of saying “trick or treat” i’ll either scream or hiss “Bagginssssssssss, Shhhhhhhire” and then ransack their villages in my search for the One Ring

image

i bet

image

you guys

image

thought

image

i was joking

oh dear god

HOW MANY PEOPLE DID YOU TERRORIZE

(Source: onvavoiir, via shenrydouken)

alexis-cool:

look me in the eye and tell me that none of the initials in “ITT Technical Institute” already stand for “technical” or “institute”

(via sexiimamiii)


Ancient Roman gold bracelet in the form of a coiled snake
1st century AD, Pompeii (The British Museum)

Ancient Roman gold bracelet in the form of a coiled snake

1st century AD, Pompeii (The British Museum)

(Source: joydyvision, via sexiimamiii)

stability:

sinnersdisguise:

stability:

By the time I have kids they’re literally going to be buying air

fun fact: that “air” is nitrogen that keeps your chips fresh

Fun fact: there were three chips in that bag. Three.

stability:

sinnersdisguise:

stability:

By the time I have kids they’re literally going to be buying air

fun fact: that “air” is nitrogen that keeps your chips fresh

Fun fact: there were three chips in that bag. Three.

(via sexiimamiii)